How to Show Up for Someone Based on Their Enneagram Type

Understanding why you are the way you are along with the people around you is an important achievement in your personal growth journey. Enneagrams have been a buzz word recently in the world on personal development. It diagnoses all of our tendencies, our reactions to things, our inner desires and shows us we are NOT alone. We believe that reading into your enneagram is not just useful, but fun! So, we are back with another post about the enneagram, this time about how to show up for someone based on their enneagram type! If you aren't familiar with enneagram types, take the test here.


1. The Reformer

Reformers love consistency. When showing up for them, set aside your agenda and ask them about their priorities, what they want to do, and be consistent in following through. Encourage them to be patient in their personal growth by taking time for themselves in a relaxing way. This could be through creating a weekly brunch spot or setting aside one day a month for an outing where they plan the itinerary. Recognize that this is their free time and that their impulse to plan and perfect something fun could be the most relaxing part of it all. 

2. The Helper

Our Type 2 friends want nothing more than to help us in any situation. We all know a friend like this and they deserve an award for their support. A great way to show up for them is to show that you value them. Invite them into your daily routine by running errands with them. Ask them for an opinion or a hand in a craft you are working on! Showing this appreciation allows them to feel naturally like their helper-selves as well as making room for some quality time.

3. The Achiever

Sometimes working on your goals together is the most rewarding type of hangout. Achievers like to have people around them that hold them accountable and push them to be their best selves. Teaming up with them on anything they are trying to master is a good way to show up for them. Make their journey to the top fun and memorable! If they’re trying to get back in shape, go take a cycling class with them! If they’re writing a book, drop off their favorite things at their door as they write away! When they look back on how far they’ve come, they’ll remember you being their every step of the way.

4. The Individualist

Consistency is key when showing up for Individualists. These friends deserve our simple presence as a reminder that they have purpose in the lives of their friends. Individualists desire to find their identity and purpose. A great way to be a constant in their lives is to create traditions with these friends and reconnect them to their truest selves. Some examples of friendship traditions are going on an annual trip together, having a TV watch party together, or always starting your day together by going on a walk. The possibilities are endless!

5. The Investigator

Type 5s are the best problem solvers and the best people to go to for advice because of their unique perception. Though the way they show up for you might not be the best way to show up for them. These special friends require patience and trust built up over time. They are a book to open slowly, so show up for them incrementally. It will allow them to feel the most comfortable opening up and coming out of their natural state of isolation. Because let's face it, everyone needs to open up every once in a while! 

6. The Loyalist

The loyalists deserve loyalty too. One-on-one time is super important to them because it gives them your undivided attention and a sense of security they need. When showing up for these people in our lives, try to cancel out all distractions. Let them confide in you and assure them of your full support and guidance. This can be difficult to do in a group setting, so put on the “Do Not Disturb” and show up with only your full self.  

7. The Enthusiast

For these fun-loving people in our lives, we should embrace a more spontaneous approach to life. Letting the good times roll their way could invite so much more adventure into your friendship. Of course, keep a good head on your shoulders and keep the boundaries in check, but try to let them make the plans. It will fulfill their need for spontaneity and let them own their true high-spirited personality.

8. The Challenger

A good way to honor their friendship is to point out their best even in their weak state. Challengers love to self-empower and feel self-confident. Although they have a written tendency to be egocentric, it is self-destructive when they lose their ego. Friends of Type 8s should always build them up even when they seem like they don’t need it. A simple way to do this is to tell them their affirmations. Sometimes someone else saying “you are strong” is more powerful than when you say it to yourself, even if this person has a natural state of self-security. 

9. The Peacemaker

A good way to show up for the Peacemakers in our lives is to invite them into other friend groups. Type 9s love to make new friends in every walk of life and expanding a friend group will let their personalities shine as they get to know each and every person. They have a presence that makes everyone feel comfortable and will never bring drama to the table. Their acceptance, open-mindedness, and trust could make any friend group more stable which is the peacemaker’s most basic desire.